Your marriage just isn’t in the same place it once was. You adore your husband but it’s become increasingly, and painfully, obvious that his feelings have shifted. He cares for you, that much you can tell, but beyond that it seems that the love he once felt for you has disappeared into the ether. Understandably, you’re panicked. You love the man, you cherish your marriage and you can’t imagine your life without him beside you. You want to change things and get them back to the way they used to be. Although we can never truly recapture the past, you can improve on your marriage now and even possibly make it better than ever. Getting your husband to fall in love with you again is all about understanding what’s missing, filling in the blanks and reminding him why he chose to build a life with you in the first place.
Ask Your Husband What He’s Feeling
Communication is definitely on the list of things you have to conquer if you want to improve your marriage and make your husband more devoted to you. The problem lies in the fact that your husband, like most men, may not be up for a long, painful and emotional discussion centered on what he’s feeling. That’s why you have to be strategic when you approach him regarding this type of conversation. It’s best to choose a time when he’s relaxed and the stress of his day isn’t wearing on him. It’s also important that you choose a place that is quiet and where interruptions won’t be frequent.
Explain to your spouse how much you love and adore him. Talk about some of your favorite memories and empathize what an incredible life you two have built together. Make it clear to your husband that your marriage means everything to you and you’re willing to put in the time, effort and commitment needed to make it work.
Once you feel he understands that you’re focused on working with him to make the marriage better, he’ll be more likely to open up about what he’s been experiencing in terms of his emotions. Be kind, compassionate and considerate during this conversation.
Spend More Time as a Couple
Most married couples fall into a rut after children arrive. Women often view this as a positive thing as it means you’ve cemented yourself as a family and you’re working towards building a strong and secure life together. Men tend to view it in a different light. To them it may be mundane or boring. The spark is gone and it’s been replaced by rushing children to activities, balancing the mortgage and keeping work in order. This may be one of the main reasons why your husband doesn’t feel as in love with you as he once did. He’s equating the day-to-day life you two life as uneventful.
It’s important to set aside time for the two of you to reconnect as a couple. You can do this in any number of ways but the focus needs to be on spending time alone, just the two of you. Because many couples with children are already stretching the budget as far as it can possibly go, consider a babysitting exchange with other couples. You keep their children overnight one Friday or Saturday evening and they’ll do the same the following week. This way you and your husband can have the entire house to yourselves.
There’s also a benefit to getting out and planning a date, just as you used to before you two became man and wife. Maybe suggest that you share a dinner at your favorite restaurant or go to the movies to check out the latest blockbuster.
They key is to make time to get to know each other again as a couple. If you can nurture that connection again, you’ll quickly notice your husband’s feelings shifting to a much more positive place.
Focus More on Yourself as a Woman
You’re obviously not exactly the same woman you were when you and your husband met and married. That’s to be expected. You’ve blossomed into a caring wife and a considerate mother. That’s who you were meant to be, but your husband may view the change in you in a bittersweet way. He likely embraces the woman you are now and all the admirable qualities you possess but he may also miss that outgoing, determined and ambitious woman he first met.
The more interesting a woman finds herself, the more intriguing the man in her life will find her. If you’ve let go of some of your dreams in order to be there for your family, now may be the time to revisit them.
There’s an undeniable quality within a woman who is content in who she is. If you find yourself wishing your life held more meaning, it’s time for you to explore that. Show your husband that you are even more fascinating than you were when you two first met. Make him proud of you, show him how you can excel in anything you do and his love for you will be flowing over.
There is a guaranteed way to draw your husband closer and to regain the love you two once shared. You can make your marriage more satisfying and emotionally rewarding than it’s ever been before.