Men can sometimes seem like a Rubik’s Cube. Just when we think we have them figured out, another issue always pops up. If the man in question is your husband, you know that those small issues can magnify themselves until there’s nothing but misunderstanding and confusion between the two of you. Inevitably that leads to more challenges and before you know it the two of you are emotionally disconnected and only exchange talk about the weather and the kids. Feeling as though you’ve lost the bond with your spouse is devastating. Rebuilding it can definitely be done but it begins with learning how to understand your husband and then using that knowledge to bridge those gaps between you two so you’re closer than ever before.
Take Stock of Where His Life is Right Now
Many factors can affect how a man interacts with his wife. For instance, if a man is feeling incredibly stressed at work, that’s going to bottle up inside of him to the point that he’ll withdraw from just about everything. Men are much less likely to talk about their stress levels, than we are. We’re all too happy to tell our husbands, our sisters and our friends just how stressed we are. The action of talking about it often helps to relieve some of the stress which is why you need to get your husband to talk about what he’s experiencing with you.
If he seems stressed about anything, be it work, a friendship or even the children, encourage him to talk with you. Be clear that you want him to see you as a shoulder he can lean on and someone he can honestly discuss any subject with. Don’t push him too hard to talk. Just be certain he knows that you’re available if he needs you.
Recognize that Men Fear Aging Too
Just as we women cringe when we spot our first wrinkle in the mirror, man can be just the same. A man often associates aging with a loss of dreams. If your husband had important goals he wanted to accomplish in his life and he’s nearing a milestone birthday, he may seem despondent or unhappy.
It’s very important for you to recognize that he has these feelings. You have to respect them and not try and sweep them under the rug by telling your spouse that it’s just a part of life to get older. Instead, talk with him about how much you admire everything he has accomplished in his life. Point out the qualities in him that you adore and stress those virtues that he’s developed as he’s matured. Maybe he’s more patient now than he used to be or perhaps he’s more compassionate now than when you first married. Make him see that the man he is now is even better than the man he was years ago.
Make an Effort to Spend More Time with Him
Loneliness can certainly impact everyone at different times in their lives and that’s true when it comes to your husband as well. The man may be at home physically, but where his attention? If he’s withdrawn or sits by himself most of the time that’s a clear sign that he’s feeling emotionally disconnected from you.
Jump start your connection by encouraging him to get out and do things with you. Plan a nice evening out just for the two of you or ask him to accompany you when you run to pick up some groceries. Reach for his hand when you two are walking together and give him a back rub if he’s hard an especially hard day. Anything that you can do to demonstrate to your husband that you love being with him, will impact him in a positive way.
Your husband may be feeling neglected without even realizing it. Often, when a marriage is blessed with children, those children become the focal point. Obviously children require a great deal of care and attention, but you can’t let your husband fall through the cracks.
You may also feel neglected by your husband and if that’s the case, showing him extra attention and affection can turn the tables on the marriage. As women we sometimes have to lead our husbands by the hand, through example, to show them what we need and want.
Make a determined effort to spend time just as a couple. This will help you reconnect with him and it will also help to get your husband to love you more. He needs to feel that you appreciate the man he is and that you love being with him. He’s your life partner, and once you recognize that he’s experiencing many of the same feelings you may be, it’s that much easier to work together to build a stronger bond that will not only enrich your marriage, but will make your family so much stronger and happier.