Help! My husband says he’s not happy anymore and I’m scared he’s ready to leave!” You’ve thought it and now you’re saying it. You are indeed terrified, aren’t you? Did you ever imagine your once loving and attentive husband would announce that he’s unhappy? It’s a horrible moment for any woman to have to face. You instantly envision him packing his things and heading out the door. It doesn’t have to be that way though. There are many things you can do right now that will change your husband’s satisfaction level with the marriage so he feels not only more fulfilled but closer to you again as well.
Identify the Source of Your Husband’s Discontent
Before you can truly begin to help your husband find happiness within the marriage again you need to identify what is causing him to feel the way he does. Some men actually mistakenly believe that their unhappiness is related to their relationship with their wife when it’s outside forces. For instance, if your husband has a very stressful career and he often brings his work home with him, in an internal, emotional sense that can manifest itself in a disconnection with you. He may be sullen and withdrawn and feel detached. His announcement that he’s unhappy with you makes sense to him because you’re the person he’s most emotionally connected to so he assumes immediately that the problem is between you two.
Take a long and honest look at your husband’s life and all of his other relationships including those with your children. If he’s facing conflict he may be taking that out on you by saying you’re the reason he’s unhappy. You can typically pick up on what’s going on in your husband’s life just by listening to who he complains about. Once you believe you have a better understanding of what he’s dealing with on a personal level you can then address what he feels in relation to your marriage.
Steps to Make Your Husband Happy
Talk to your husband about what he feels and bring up specific things you’ve noticed. If you have listened to him complain endlessly about how he feels undervalued by his superior at work, mention that to your husband. If you’ve sensed that he’s feeling neglected in terms of his parenting suggestions, address that with him. It’s important that you make it clear to him that you’ve been noticing certain behavior patterns and you feel those may be contributing to the discontent he feels within your marriage.
Engage your husband more than you have been. It’s very easy to get so caught up in your own life that you neglect your husband and what’s going on with him. Invite him out for a nice dinner or plan a weekend away just for the two of you. Your husband may be feeling as though you aren’t making the time to be with him and that can easily manifest itself into bitter resentment on his part. Put more effort into nurturing the connection between you and the man you married.
It’s also important to talk about what you both can do to improve the marriage. It’s not advisable for you to begin a dialogue on this topic by pointing out everything you wish your husband did differently. Instead, invite him to tell you what he feels is missing from the marriage and what you can do, as his wife, to improve that. Once he’s had his say, add your concerns to the mix. This way you both can work together to make the marriage more rewarding and fulfilling for each other.