Human beings are the most evolved of all the species found on this planet. As a part of our evolution, we have managed to communicate with the help of words and sentences, we talk. But talking does not necessarily mean it’s a conversation. A conversation can only happen if two or more individuals talk to each other and end up sharing meaningful information with each other which adds to the knowledge of the respected individuals. This information may or may not be very critical to the person but it adds some value to their knowledge about the different aspects of life. Now the main question we have here is what do we say when we’re face to face with another person? As in, what do we do if we’re in a scenario where we’re randomly standing in a crowd and people start throwing questions at us. Sounds like a sticky situation right? Well it isn’t that bad in reality. Let’s go step wise and look at how to deal with situations such as these.
#1 Putting Your Best Foot Forward
Now when I say putting your best foot forward, I don’t mean to tell you to be confident about yourself and I don’t mean to tell you to be yourself. In reality, you can’t be yourself all the time. People act differently in different situations. Just like in a job interview, dressing nice and being polite does not really make the cut. What helps you get through is how you plan on dealing with the situation. And it’s okay to be moody. So fake it until you make it. And does faking in a social setting make you a dishonest person? No, it does not. You just have to pretend that you’re involved in the conversation, even if you’re not interested in it. And it doesn’t mean that you have to pretend all the time, you can listen to what the other person has to say, and continue if it interests you or you can just be polite and smile and change the topic.
When in a crowd of people, and when talking to others, you need to emphasize similarity. Now how do you do that? Very simple, you can read the body language of the person and make a random guess about the person’s likes or dislikes. Be it politics or music or fashion, you will be able to figure out what makes the person tick by analyzing their body language. And once you have analysed the person, almost anything can be a conversation starter at that point of time. And almost in every conceivable way, from background to the choices of words that you make, improves social relations drastically. But here’s the catch. Do not be a copycat. Mimic them instead, because mimicking will give the person a sense of comfort but copying could rather be somewhat offensive to the other parties that are involved in the conversation. So take your time and find out the common ground, and once you do, you have what it takes to carry it ahead.
#3 Not sure of what to talk about? Get the other party to talk
Those who have a tough time conversing in public, often ask this question, “What do I talk about?” However, this question is wrong. The right question in this situation is, “How do I get them to talk about their interests?” As I mentioned in one of my previous articles, listening is a fine art. So to actually make a conversation work, you need to learn to listen to what the other person has to say. And once you listen to the other person, you will get an entire list of things to talk about. And be active and constructive in your interaction with them. So if a person tells you that they received a promotion, congratulate them, ask them how they felt about it, ask them about the reaction of the others. With that not only will it help as a conversation starter, it will also make the other person feel comfortable. And once the other party is comfortable, the conversation will start flowing automatically.
#4 Make People feel Good
Studies have shown that no matter who says what, likeable people are preferred over competent people so you don’t really need to worry about being impressive. It’s okay to ask weird questions once in a while but then don’t be creepy about it. Flattery works too. But then again, as long as it doesn’t go borderline creepy and onwards, it’s okay. Now the main question is, how do you make someone feel good? This actually differs from person to person and gender wise as well. There are certain things you can say to a guy to make them feel good but the same statement might not sit well with a lady. So weigh what you have to say very carefully. And women are repelled by individuals trying to be clingy more than guys are, so be careful about how you behave around a lady. You can complement a lady on her dress and seek advice from a man regarding issues you face. I’m not being gender biased but these are just few things to talk about when dealing with a conversation.
#5 Not too much, not too less
Most of us tend to go overboard when it comes to trying to get to know someone. While there are a lot of things to talk about on dates, a lot of interesting questions to ask a lady or ask a gentleman, whoever you might be going out on a date with, know when to stop. In an attempt to impress, we usually tend to dominate the conversation, and that is what kills it. Now I’m not telling you to be a non-contributor but then again know when it is enough. There are a lot of conversation starters that you can select, in which both individuals can contribute equally. So go easy on everyone and be open to participation.