I think Hollywood has given us some terrible advice when it comes to romance. It fills our heads with unrealistic ideas of men, women and love in general. Whether or not we are aware of this though most of us are still chasing these white picket fence dreams, even if we can’t admit it to ourselves! No one is perfect so before you judge your partner take a look at yourself too. So how do we keep a stable and loving relationship when we can’t simply walk off into the sunset together? It’s a team effort.
Keep your friends – I have seen this time and time again, especially with people new to relationships. Some people get possessive and don’t want to share their partners and some just get caught up in love but the end result is neglecting your friends! If you aren’t careful you may find yourself in 2 years time broken hearted only to then find out your friends have moved on without you too! Keep your own social life active and make sure your partner does the same. Friends are not only awesome but they also let you vent your issues and give you new perspectives.
Keep the love going – When you first meet each other you can’t wait to hang out. Flowers and dates seem to naturally happen during courtship but it can start to fizzle after the honeymoon period ends. Romance shouldn’t be one sided, men and women alike should be able to surprise their partner with flowers, poetry or even a surprise date. Personally I believe this romantic input and effort from both partners is vital to a long term relationship! “Love” is just a word; you have to show your partner how you feel about them!
People don’t change – It’s funny, from my observations and chats with people in relationships it seems that most people magically expect their partner to change some of their habits after marriage or once a relationship becomes official! If you find someone that doesn’t meet your criteria then they are probably not the right person for you. Pestering them to change is only going to drive a wedge between you and cause problems.
Praise where praise is due – Take a look at your partner. How many good things are there about them! Too many to count or list I am sure. In the heat of an argument or even over time it can be easy to forget just how great they are. In our society we are always comparing our lives to everyone else and we usually end up feeling inadequate because of it! If your partner works hard for you then you should show gratitude to them! Let your partner know they are appreciated now and then; we are all starved for a bit of praise!
It can be very tough to un-learn the many lessons beaten into us by Hollywood but I like to think of these realizations as personal growth. Relationships and love are much more complex and require some more work than some cheesy rehearsed lines and Vaseline on the camera!
Here’s to true love!